Birth Series Part 02: Charlie’s Debut

Photographed brilliantly by our sweet next-door neighbor, Mackenzie Belen | Follow her on instagram!

I was getting ready for bed on a Sunday night and realized our room was out of sorts—not the peaceful, tidy sanctuary I wanted to labor in—so that was my little nudge to clear out the clutter last minute. It was still 5 days away from my “due date” and my first two were early so i figured it would be wise to get things in order.

My mom was heading to bed and asked what she could help with so we stood in my room and talked about making a good will run (to donate all of Kennedy’s clothes!) the next day to make some space for baby clothes…setting up a nursery obviously wasn’t on my priority list this time around.

In the middle of our chat, we look over and Ellie, our mini Aussie, looked at my mom as if she’d seen a ghost. Her eyes were bulging and her ears were back and she stood there frozen—looking like a weird human—mom and I were cracking up trying to tell her to relax…and I said, “Do you know something I don’t, Ellie?! Maybe I’m going into labor.”

Looked at my 39 week belly in the mirror, feeling like this would probably be the night—hopped in bed and baby *boy,* or so I thought, was unusually active and I felt some contractions for a couple of hours that were getting pretty crampy, enough to wake me up.

With my previous two pregnancies the first sign of labor has been my water breaking, so I didn’t know what early labor contractions felt like compared to Braxton hicks. By 1:30am they were clearly something different.

Chris came to bed around 1:40 and at 1:50 I hear and feel a pop, like a quiet balloon pop. I didn’t feel any fluid but immediately tap Chris and ask him to get me a towel because my water definitely broke.

We both laugh…he jumps right back out of bed.

We’d been thinking it would be interesting to see how a daytime labor would be after a nice night of sleep since my water always breaks right when we go to bed.

This wouldn’t be the day we find out!

I sent my mom a text to give her a heads up. Contractions steadily intensified but we wanted to get as much sleep as possible so we went back to bed in hopes of some rest. Chris succeeded—there was no chance for me.

I grabbed some headphones and downloaded the contraction timer app, played a birth meditation on repeat (that I absolutely LOVED, it 100% helped me get into the right state of mind), and welcomed every surge knowing my body knew what to do.

I got out of bed, lit my candles and read some birth affirmations that a handful of amazing women wrote for me. Between contractions I went downstairs to make a nervous system support remedy to sip on through the rest of labor.

It was dark and peaceful, just me and baby working together in silence for a few hours. Just as I’d imagined. I had my Bible open to the verse that was a pillar for me throughout pregnancy and knew it would be the same going into labor.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7

I started to feel like I needed to move around more and standing/swaying ended up being the go-to position until I woke up Chris and my mom. They offered counter pressure on my lower back and hips which was welcomed support. I’m not sure if there’s anything that backs this up, but even feeling their hands on my back and shoulders gave me so much relief, I remember feeling surprised at how much that little support helped.

I asked my mom to give me a dose of a homeopathic remedy—I rotated between Aconite and Arnica—to support what homeopaths refer to as our vital force. It’s the central energetic force that powers the entire human body down to the cellular level. Homeopathy can bring it back to homeostasis—physically and psychologically.

Up to this point it was so clear to me how much the right thought patterns can support the birthing process. I’ve intentionally worked on this over the last year, visualizing the exact birth outcome I wanted.

Birth happens in stages: early labor, active labor, transition (full dilation of the cervix), pushing, then delivering the placenta.

From the point of my water breaking to transition, the intensity of contractions was fully manageable with mindset alone. Surrendering to the process, having faith in God’s design, finding gratitude in every moment—every minute was one step closer to holding my baby. Standing and swaying still felt good and productive at this point. I tried to stay upright as much as possible to let gravity do its thing.

I was genuinely so thankful that everything was progressing with no intervention or poking and prodding. I didn’t need to know how dilated I was—this can be a source of discouragement for me if I’m not as dilated as I want to be so I opt out to keep my spirits high. There’s really no benefit to cervical checks…in my opinion. I trust in my body’s ability to make a way, and I definitely don’t need someone to tell me when to push. That kind of just—happens.

Active labor and transition were more of a challenge. I got in the tub around 5am and the warm water was helpful. I started to really lean on Chris and my mom—they were still applying counter pressure and I was hanging all over Chris to find a more comfortable position. He informed me afterward that I had him in a chokehold and he was trying not to die…oops.

The pressure on my lower back and tailbone was so intense, I told Chris probably every contraction, “This is so hard,” “I’m so tired,” and he’d respond with calm encouragement—I’m so beyond in love with him and he’s my rock, so everything he said I took to heart. It’s amazing how someone’s words can have such a huge impact—they truly lifted me up.

It was still hard. I would hear the music between contractions and ask him to change it hoping something would help…it might have a little bit.

My mom offered me food but nothing sounded appetizing besides gelatin gummies…iykyk. She also made me an adrenal cocktail, an electrolyte blend of sorts, which I knew I was going to want and I thoroughly enjoyed that. Then a smoothie for more protein but it was hard for me to drink.

The music in the background started to fade away and I could feel my shoulders and jaw tense up as I felt each contraction coming. Chris reminded me to relax my shoulders—he knew I didn’t want to let myself get sucked into the fear-tension-pain cycle. I definitely let it happen a few times toward the end, but did my best. Childbirth is the ultimate mind game—we have the choice to master it or let fear run the show.

I don’t have it mastered—but each birth brings me closer to understanding how powerful I am and what I’m capable of. One of the more profound realizations I’ve had through my experience is that it’s my responsibility to create the outcome. I’m responsible for educating myself, I’m responsible for setting the atmosphere, I’m responsible for my reactions, I am responsible for what I choose to outsource. I am the only person that is bringing this child into the world. It’s not the midwife or the OB or nurses, it’s not my husband or my doula. It’s me and God. My self-control, my inner peace, my attitude of gratitude and God’s perfect timing. Period.

Between the really tough contractions I would come to my senses and declare supernatural peace to flood the room and thank God that this blessing is about to be in my arms.

My sister, Mother-in-law, my neighbor/photographer and midwives arrived between 6 and 7am. They let me know every time someone got to the house and I barely remember.

My Mother-in-law has been at all three births and is so grateful to be included—we love that she’s been there, too. She kept Kennedy and Maverick company downstairs while I labored. The women in our family are gems and there’s no one else I’d rather have present to welcome my babies into the world. Grateful is an understatement.

The midwife checked fetal heart tones maybe two times? I only remember once but my mom says it was more. Other than that, they were hands-off and observed—which was what I wanted.

I still thought I had a ways to go but I started to feel the ring of fire…a familiar feeling from Maverick’s birth right before he was born, which completely caught me off guard. This is when the baby is crowning and your tissue is stretching and this time it weirdly gave me an instant rush of motivation—I knew (s)he was so close.

I wanted to push as hard as humanly possible and just be done but I did that the first two births and had a second degree tear both times. This was also one of the reasons I wanted a water birth—if I stayed in the water, breathed through contractions instead of holding my breath and tensing up, I was less likely to tear and hopefully have an easier recovery.

I think I pushed (or let my body push) for about 45 minutes, everything was such a blur and I didn’t tell anyone when I started so we’ll never know how long it actually was!

With the help of my midwife I pulled her out of the water, the cord was wrapped around her torso so we untangled her. I saw immediately that she was indeed not a boy and said, “It’s a girl?!!”

We were 100% expecting a boy, we did the take-home blood test which was accurate for our previous pregnancy so we had no reason to doubt the results!

She had a head full of hair, a nearly perfect round head that I noticed right away because my other two had cone-shaped heads. She opened her eyes and looked right at me, let out a cry and latched right away.

This part of birth is so incredible to witness. They know immediately where their source of comfort and nourishment is. Once they’re born, oxytocin is released (the bonding hormone), informing the placenta to detach from the uterine wall. The uterus is still contracting to release the placenta.

The rest of the blood from the placenta gets transferred to baby through the pulsing umbilical cord. This is the last major transfer of nutrients from mom to baby and is crucial. Chris cut the cord once it was completely white and stopped pulsing.

He got some sweet newborn snuggles while the midwives help me out of the bath and into the shower. I love that she got skin-to-skin bonding time with Dad while I’m getting situated in bed, it’s such a sweet time.

Settling in after birth is a slow, restful process at home. There’s no rushing, everyone is blissfully processing what they just witnessed, and the five of us peacefully welcome our unnamed baby girl into the family. I was hopeful that I didn’t tear, but I did a little bit and the midwives stitched me right up. It was less than the first two, so that felt like a win!

My mom made me a nourishing postpartum breakfast, the midwives did a basic newborn exam and we just soaked it all up.

It was a six hour labor start to finish. She weighed 7lbs 4oz, born at 8:18am and was just perfect. I can’t believe we have three beautiful babies. I feel so fortunate and blessed to have the family that I do, that I get to raise these kids with my best friend and love of my life, I’m so thankful and I don’t take the responsibility of being a wife and mother lightly. It’s the greatest gift.

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Jessica Lucas