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Before you start reading this, consider the possibility that some of this may contradict your current belief system.

Make some space for a little mindset shift. And note that this is just my own personal birth journey—an anecdotal overview of the transformation I’ve experienced and all the information I’ve gathered that has profoundly altered my view of pregnancy, birth and motherhood as a whole.

It started with the hospital birth of my firstborn, Kennedy. I was fortunate to witness the peaceful home births of my three younger siblings which solidified my belief in physiological birth (the normal, uninterrupted birth process). I dreamt of having a home birth my entire life, but when it came time to plan for Kennedy’s birth, timing just wasn’t right.

I was bummed about it but I’m thankful for that experience, and it was a so-called “successful” birth. I learned so much from that chapter, from my gestational diabetes diagnosis to the cascade of intervention while giving birth. I thought I knew a lot about birth—in retrospect, I was clueless. But I knew I didn’t feel comfortable in the hospital or OB’s office, which was true then and is true now.

Today, I believe there are a few factors that impact pregnancy and birth the most, which work synergistically in this order:

What we’re feeding our minds
What we’re feeding our atmosphere
What we’re feeding our bodies

It’s an equation.

The combination of the three are represented by our physical symptoms, or lack thereof. I imagine it as a cascading waterfall. The very first input at the top is spirituality and thought life, followed by our physical surroundings that affect us emotionally and shape our paradigm, and the final input is our lifestyle and daily habits.

Our physical health is the end result, the furthest downstream. Spirit informs mind and mind informs body. In other words, physical state (good health or less than good health) is a tangible manifestation of your state of mind. Just as we can’t exercise our way to health with a poor diet, the perfect diet and workout and supplements won’t make us healthy if we have a poor state of mind. If you’re wondering what I mean by health, I wrote about it here.

feeding our minds

We were designed with a creative power—but alternatively, that power can be equally destructive. Every single individual, regardless of circumstances, has the power to build up or tear down. This is where extreme ownership comes into play. Yolande Norris-Clark gives us the most amazing visualization of this concept in her book, Portal. In her loving yet brutal honesty she describes a world in which our current state of being is a physical manifestation of all the micro-decisions we’ve made leading up to this point. This of course excludes things we’ve inherited.

One of the most noteworthy paradoxes we are called to wrestle with when it comes to the art of choosing, is that whatever you believe about the power you have to select your experience, is correct.
yolande norris-clarke, portal

And birth? Whatever outcome you have is simply a mirror. A reflection of what’s happening on the inside (spiritually/emotionally/physically). This can be pretty confronting, especially because we’re only ever doing the best we can with the information we have. No one WANTS a poor outcome. But we can use this creative power to our advantage OR allow it to negatively affect our outcomes. It’s a choice. So when you fully grasp the concept that you can move the needle in either direction…it’s powerful to say the least.

I’m not saying this to shame or fault anyone—I had my own things to dissect and process. The honest truth is we’ve kind of been screwed over with the way society today has unfolded. Women don’t know how powerful they are—that’s why I’m sharing this, not to point out where we went wrong but what we can do moving forward. There’s so much more in our control than we’re led to believe.

For me personally, this encouraged me to reflect on my first two births and identify the triggers I needed to free myself from. Most of my triggers, I realized, are rooted in fear. Fear of complications and fear of pain were at the top of the list. You’re probably thinking, “Well ya, those fears are valid because those things happen all the time. Every mom has those fears.”

Hear me out—we don’t need to subscribe to that. Remember…our thoughts and words carry creative power. Before I get further into this rabbit hole, I want to mention that experiencing fear isn’t inherently bad or toxic. It’s normal and it’s a survival mechanism. Fear becomes a problem when you feel it and allow yourself to STAY THERE.

Here’s how I get myself out of a fear rut:

Yes, birth complications happen.
Is there risk involved? Yes.
Am I considered high risk? No.
Am I taking care of myself nutritionally and spiritually? Yes.
Do I trust God’s design for birth? 100%.
Am I taking responsibility for this birth? Yes.
Is the pain temporary? Yes.
Are there pain management tools? Without a doubt.
Is God’s plan better than mine? Absolutely.

Yes, things can go wrong. But what if things go right? We have to get our hopes up instead of expecting the worst.

Our brain doesn’t know the difference between a perceived threat and a true threat. A perceived threat is something that COULD happen, a true threat is currently HAPPENING. Our brain interprets these threats the same way, though, which is not something to take lightly!

Perceived threat: I could need an emergency transfer to the hospital during childbirth.
True threat: I need an ambulance now.

In both of those situations, the physiological response is the same—we go into a fight-or-flight response which releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. When there is an imminent threat, it is a healthy response and it’s there to get us to safety. It is widely known that chronic stress in a pregnant woman can lead to adverse birth outcomes.

Being in a constant state of fight-or-flight can be toxic to our minds and subsequently our bodies—whether we’re pregnant or not.

In California, midwives cannot legally deliver breech babies (although it’s a variation of normal birth) so it would likely result in a hospital birth and probably a C-section—something I REALLY do not want. At the beginning of this pregnancy, I had this little gloomy cloud lingering over me, reminding me that a breech baby is possible. I wasn’t scared of giving birth to a breech baby, the root of the fear was just being in the hospital and everything that comes with it. I had no reason to believe she would even be breech though!

Knowing that I have the ability to pray (or think) something into existence, I knew that was a thought pattern I had to reject every time it came up. So, instead, I’d take the thought captive, reject it, visualize the outcome I want, and thank God that my body and baby’s body are in Kingdom alignment.

If this seems woo-woo to you, I get it and I’ve been there, but I’d challenge you to ask questions. The Source documentary by Dr. Joe Dispenza had a profound impact on my prayer life—the dots it connected for me were unbelievable. And we went to the premiere the day I found out I was pregnant! There’s no such thing as coincidence ;)

So thoughts drive your feelings, and feelings drive your thoughts, and eventually this loop hardwires your brain into the same patterns, which conditions your body into the past. And because emotions are a record of past experiences, if you can’t think greater than how you feel, this thinking-feeling loop keeps you anchored to your past and creates a constant state of being. This is how the body becomes the mind—or in time, how your thoughts run you and your feelings own you.
Dr. Joe Dispenza, Becoming Supernatural

I’m 37 weeks in as I’m writing this and baby girl is in the ideal position, praise God. Just that fact alone gives me so much to be thankful for.

I think fear is one of the most destructive states of mind we can live in during pregnancy and birth—and life in general.

What are we feeding our minds? So much of it is involuntary. The information we absorb from the day we were born until now is what shapes our world view. Everyone is where they are today because of every little piece of information they’ve had to process—consciously or subconsciously. Stories we’ve been told, things we’ve seen first hand, good experiences and bad.

I think every adult can say they’ve seen a show or movie where a childbirth scene is a screaming, sweating woman in excruciating pain. Hollywood has told us for decades that pregnancy and birth is the most awful discomfort and pain a woman will ever experience. And that’s the lens we see birth through. A fearful lens. While we do experience discomfort and intense pressure (temporarily and with breaks built in—shout out nature), it’s also the most empowering, miraculous, soul-altering blessing God has given women. We are CREATING LIFE. And it changes us to our core—for the better. We don’t have to be so afraid of it.

Allowing fear to corrode such an incredible process is heartbreaking, actually. I hope that women soon realize that we don’t have to operate through the lens of fear. I know the shift is happening, though, and it gives me hope for our daughters!

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.
Proverbs 23:7

feeding our atmosphere

Pregnant women receive an overwhelming amount of input from every which direction. Friends, family, coworkers, healthcare providers, social media, and of course—strangers.

Conventional prenatal care doesn’t really give us a head start on a stress free experience. Every test and lab and screening is there to look for something that’s wrong. Seek and you shall find, right?

Even something as simple as taking vitals. Is it so far fetched to assume that we’re so scared to have a high blood pressure reading that our stress response *causes* our blood pressure to rise just in time for the healthcare provider to record your numbers? And then we face another layer of stress when we could potentially be looking at a pre-eclampsia diagnosis. It’s all a domino effect.

This pregnancy we kind of opted for what is considered a “wild” pregnancy and birth, which is funny to me because it’s just…normal. I guess it’s considered wild because it’s uncommon?

We didn’t do any ultrasounds, no cervical checks, the only labs were the ones required by the State of California. And even those I didn’t give much attention to. Being comfortable with this didn’t happen naturally, each pregnancy my trust in the birth process expanded more and more, and this time around I knew the tests and observation would create more stress…because that’s what they did for me the previous two pregnancies. Between false positives, ultrasound inaccuracy and human error—it’s just not what I wanted.

Some people—most people, I’m sure—feel less stressed doing all the screening, and that may be the best choice for them! Pregnancy is so individual, mom and dad should thoroughly investigate the risks and benefits of all choices made so that they can make an informed decision they’re comfortable with.

There’s also this weird phenomenon that happens to so many pregnant women…you announce your pregnancy or share your birth plans and whoever you’re talking to feels the need to tell you a horror story about their birth or their mom’s birth or this one story they heard one time. Those are the things we have to reject and refuse to come into agreement with. That’s their lens—it doesn’t belong to you and you don’t have to welcome it. In my experience, sharing personal goals and birth wishes should be shared with the people who will lift you up, encourage you and believe for the outcome you want.

You can’t put a price tag on protecting your peace, and it’s an intentional practice—a choice. One thing that gave me a lot of encouragement to trust the natural process was reading about what actual uninterrupted birth looks like…the way God designed it to be. Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth was a great place to start. If we don’t take the initiative to fill our minds with all the reasons we’ll have a positive outcome, fear and doubt will take precedence.

You are not a machine. The Creator is not a careless mechanic. Human female bodies have the same potential to give birth as aardvarks, rhinoceri, elephants, moose and water buffalo. Even if it has not been your habit throughout your life, I recommend that you learn to think positively about your body.
Ina May Gaskin, Guide to Childbirth

Our brains cannot process both anxiety and gratitude at the same time, it’s either one or the other. And if that’s the case—wouldn’t you prefer the latter? A grateful heart does a body good.

Each consecutive pregnancy for me has been more and more peaceful. With the first, I did all the tests and then some, since I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. It was SO STRESSFUL. I would soon find out during my second pregnancy that there is actually a way to approach gestational diabetes proactively and holistically which gave me so much peace of mind.

Fear = stress

Stress = fight or flight (survival mode)

Fight or Flight = hormone fluctuation and nutrient depletion

Hormone imbalance and nutrient depletion = health complications and undesired symptoms

It’s crucial for human health to be aware of what we’re consuming. This includes who we welcome into our circles and who we allow to pour into us. The health of your atmosphere can have a massively detrimental effect on an outcome. Especially during such a sacred time as giving birth.

If our mind is telling our body that there is a threat, your labor will stall. You can actually dilate backwards. Have you ever heard the phrase, “failure to progress?” Hmm…

Being in survival mode informs your body it is not safe to give birth. It’s a primitive response to danger. If there’s someone chasing you, the first priority is to get to safety—adrenaline is pumping and your nervous system is in fight or flight. Safety is life.

Once you get to safety, your nervous system is designed to rest and digest, and in this restful state is when labor resumes—you can safely give birth.

But what if it’s not someone chasing you? What if it’s a nurse you don’t know that’s treating you disrespectfully, or a doctor you’ve never met, an unpleasant midwife or even a family member that makes you slightly uncomfortable? The same still applies. Any kind of worry, anxiety or stress will cause a chemical response in your body.

It is SO IMPORTANT to protect your peace. We want our babies to come into this world feeling a mother’s calm and nurture, not stress and fear. Imagine you take your first breath in an unfamiliar place with overwhelming sensory input and you experience the same feelings that your mother is feeling. Our babies feel our stress and inherit our stress response, it would serve them well if we did our best to welcome them into the world in a peaceful manner.

Setting personal boundaries is a must. I was watching homebirth videos to show the kids and I came across one that was so intense and stressful—no complications just contractions—and I had to turn it off because I could feel her fear in my body and I did not want it.

Pro tip! Be careful about what you’re watching or listening to. Just turn it off.

feeding our bodies

What about food? Seems like a minor part of the equation after all of that, but it’s also important. Had I written this two years ago it would have read completely different—I would have put nutrition at the top of the list. I’m still learning and growing and wondering what will expand my perspective next—but as for food and lifestyle, I’m coming to the conclusion that going back to basics is the most beneficial route.

We’re undernourished and it’s a problem. Women are under-eating in the name of physique and societal beauty standards. Micro nutrients are fuel to our cells and if we’re not getting enough fuel, they’re not going to function. Every single function in our bodies is made of cells and powered by cells, so if they’re not properly fueled, there goes our organ function. And then we have some problems.

Unfortunately, in addition to under-eating, we’re all stressing about one thing or another, which depletes mineral stores. Lily Nichols’ book Real Food for Pregnancy was absolutely mind-blowing to me because she cites all the studies that basically every pregnancy complication is connected to some sort of nutrient deficiency. No one told me this when I had gestational diabetes the first time—even with a dietitian.

After following her guidelines (not perfectly, I might add) and also incorporating all the things I mentioned above, my blood sugar is NORMAL. I had to inject insulin into my stomach every night during the third trimester of my first pregnancy.

This pregnancy has been a night and day difference from the first. I’ve had no morning sickness, although it was somewhat minor the first time and improved the second time, I have no swelling, close to no discomfort and it’s just flying by. I feel like I’m just living normal life with a bigger circumference. I can’t say I know exactly why that is, but I strongly believe that it has a lot to do with the nutrition overhaul that began long before conception.

To summarize what it looks like now—it’s just a focus on whole food—and a lot of it. Making sure there’s a heavy animal protein focus in each meal. Shopping around the edges of the grocery stores is the trick. Tons of animal products (saturated fats!) because they’re the most nutrient dense. All the dairy, red meat, eggs, fruit. Pretty simple! Rather than focusing on what to restrict, it’s much more encouraging to focus on what to include. Nutrient density is the answer.

It’s obviously a plus if it’s raw dairy, pasture-raised eggs and beef, organic and all of that…but anything is better than ultra-processed food—which really is not food at all.

I’ve definitely been down the everything-is-toxic rabbit hole, it’s not a fun or productive place to be. I’m glad I learned that everything we smell, touch, taste, see and hear is causing cancer…but I absolutely let myself hang out in that bubble for too long. To the point where I was making decisions out of fear, stressing about eating out and letting my kids eat out.

The best thing I did for our family was putting my focus on NOURISHMENT, not restriction. My belief is if we’re getting the nourishment we need regularly, it’s ok to enjoy treats and other things here and there. The nourishment will provide that fuel our body needs to develop resilience and the ability to adapt. It is IMPOSSIBLE and stressful to avoid everything toxic. The stress of exposure to toxins can be much more harmful than the toxins themselves.

For extra support this pregnancy, I used this prenatal made from whole food sources. One thing to look out for in prenatal formulas is whether or not the ingredients are synthetic. Vitamins and minerals in their true whole form are usually (always?) accompanied by other nutrients and they’re inextricably linked. Just because you might be low in a vitamin doesn’t mean taking that isolated vitamin in a supplement will fix the problem—and could actually be risky. It’s all about balance and ratios, and what I keep coming back to is this rule of thumb: we can’t outsmart nature.

Whole food = nature

Ok, the next blog post will obviously be about food…way too many things to address on that front. But when it comes to pregnancy and birth, one of the main things that we have to recognize to produce a better outcome is that pregnancy, in its essence, is not a medical condition. It’s not an emergency. It CAN be in some instances, but the undisturbed, physiological process of conception, pregnancy and birth is not something to resist or be afraid of. It is creation of life and quite literally how humanity moves forward. THIS is what women are made for. This is ultimate feminine vitality. Why would that ever be something to fear? I just listened to what I think is the best podcast episode on pregnancy and birth that I’ve heard called Your Life is Your Prenatal. It is a MUST listen for any woman, pregnant or not.

If there is ONE thing that I hope you take away from this endless blog post…THAT IS IT. What you feed your mind, your atmosphere and your body—that is your prenatal. There is so much in your control.

Pregnancy Staples

Probiotic (but better) | Ion Gut Support
Prenatal | Bloom by Birthright
Robe | H&M Muslin Bathrobe
Tea | Pique (ginger is my fave for heartburn, rooibos for a million reasons)
Remedies | Helios Homeopathic Childbirth Kit (THIS IS SO GOOD)
Electrolytes | Redmond’s Sea Salt + Fresh Orange Juice + Coconut Water